Skip to main content

That Goddamn "Janedo Re" Attitude


Alright. This is me talking. No filters. No diplomacy.
This attitude I am talking about... It's not the ego one. Not the fake swag one. I’m talking about the real one. The one where you just… let it go.

After I turned forty, something changed in me. I didn’t suddenly become calm. I became clear. There’s a difference. I stopped reacting to everything. Not because I can’t fight. Trust me, I can. I’ve fought most of my life. I just realised not every battle deserves my blood pressure and a good night's sleep.

And no, I didn’t always have this attitude. I was the exact opposite. I was the guy who fought to earn presence. I wanted my parents at my milestones. I wanted them there when it mattered. I didn’t want money. I didn’t want gifts. Just presence. I fought hard for that.

And when they categorically chose not to show up for my special moments, repeatedly, I got the message.

COVID just made everything obvious. When the world went virtual, masks fell off. I saw who people really were. Even in my own family. And before anyone casually says I got a lifestyle disease, let me clarify something. I didn’t get diabetes because I was chilling. It was stress. Years of it. I may be lazy in many things, but I’m not the kind who collects diseases for fun.

That phase changed me.

That’s when “Janedo Re” entered my system. And once it enters, it never leaves.

Now my wife and I consciously follow it. Sometimes what my family does to us, hits us like a bullet straight to the chest. And don’t get me wrong. They know exactly what they’re doing. It’s precise. It’s calculated. Almost tactical. They poke where it hurts, hoping I’ll explode. Because one explosive reaction is all it takes to label me the villain forever.

But I’ve chosen peace.

When these emotional wars start, my wife and I don’t turn against each other. We turn towards each other. Let the firing happen from behind our backs. We stand face to face and deal with it together. Neo and Trinity, but with backpain and diabetes.

The positive side of this attitude? I’m hard to trigger now. They can try. It won’t work easily. They can’t break my marriage. They can’t break my bond with my kid. They might try to bypass us and create a divide through him. That’s dark. But we’re playing the long game now.

The negative side? I’m always wrong. That’s the price I pay. Nobody defends me when I’m not in the room. If a stranger praises me, even for something stupid like my handwriting, it’s dismissed like it’s nothing. “He just scribbles.” Achievements get neutral reactions. Taunts get casually thrown to see if I’ll take the bait.

I don’t anymore.

Not because it doesn’t hurt. It does. But I’ve been hooked before. The marks are still there. I know how that story ends.

Life treats you like a fish sometimes. If you’re krill, you’re eaten without a second thought. If you’re a whale, you die alone. If you’re a shark, people fear you but don’t love you. If you’re a dolphin, they want you to perform, not think.

So yeah. It’s not weakness. It’s controlled detachment. It’s choosing my wife and child over ego battles. It’s deciding that my home will not become a battlefield just because someone else is bored.

You can call me detached. You can call me arrogant. You can call me the villain.
Janedo Re.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Waiting for a miracle

The mirage isn’t real, the moon isn’t near, the hope, probably feeble, and life, certainly terse. A verse, has to be written to tell a story. Because this fairy tale, is getting gory. You wished for a smile, and walked through the isle, you wished for the reveries to come true. A fine friend, you expected. A flawed foe, and a marred knot, you got. While I hopefully craved for the dawn, you eclipsed into despair with a resentful scorn. Emotions began to take turns on the weighing scale. My pains versus yours, versus our trust getting frail. Giving up may not be your forte, and winning may not be mine. Deprived and devoid of love, we live together, waiting for tides to change, waiting for a sign from Above, waiting for the impossible, waiting for a miracle.

Where’s the Middle Ground?

If you are a middle-class man and married recently, there must be an incessant turmoil going on in your mind. You must be thinking, “why me?” There were times when nobody cared what you did, or said. But now, after you are married, everyone questions your decisions and actions (even inactions). You are blamed for posing a “changed” (read,  spoilt ) behaviour and it is basically not you – it's because of YOUR WIFE, who has drastically changed you as per her convenience and necessities, just because you are like clay in your thirties. Anybody can manipulate you and make you their slave, right? That’s the intention of every marriage – to enslave all of “Man” kind. The mother-sister combo tries that for a particular period with all their love. To some extent they succeed without any resistance from you. Because, you too love them back equally for everything they did to you, right from your birth till your marriage. Now that you have become their most prized possession, it is nearl...

What are you?