AMEETHYST

Often being misunderstood by dozens of people around me, I always feel literally unique. Am I so different from others that I need a dictionary to be tattooed on my body? Not being convincing to people in terms of love, care or affection, it always ends up being misinterpreted as levity of a stonehearted and emotionless farm full of weeds known as friends. I never keep any damn formalities with friends (as they prefer it) and that is how I am supposed to be in the circle, and when I am with my family, I try not to roam around meeting friends. If any such urgency arrives, either I call them home or they call me later, but never did I try to intrude their priorities and even if I did (knowingly or unknowingly), I’d not regret it because after all, they are friends. The only problem I had was when I admired someone’s flair in the field of media and tried to be an apprentice of words. I wanted to use words as my blood and bones, but the curse turned these words itself against me. I never...

I never had this courage to talk about serious life matters with you and always felt numb about our relation. I regret for not having said all the things which made me smother at times. A Father-Son bond was always kind of fictional to me. Though I had lots of things to tell you, I never did. To start with the deepest one; I’ve always been proud of what you are and what you keep doing; for the family, for your siblings, and the entire gang of your fellow mates. I never saw the love that you poured incessantly being off the lights, and that made me love my mother more. Psychologically, sons are attached more with their mothers and daughters, with their fathers. This statement hurt me sometimes when I kept thinking that you love my sister more than me. I still love to write your name whenever I fill some form. I haven’t been a good son and taken all the responsibilities that I should have taken and I don’t blame you or mom for loving me so much that I never felt a need to be worried abo...

Logically Speaking.... I was unaware of the fact that, logic is also a vital substance of any relation. I always find it very hard in making a choice when it comes to choosing a companion with whom I can share my deepest of the truthful emotions. Often it was misinterpreted as an intrusion of privacy, or an utter lack of etiquettes. I find it very gruesome to admit that, I have this pathetic inability to say NO to something I really can't accept to do. Although, I give my best shot in the task I have taken wisely (I believe), I never let the heads down that have given the work to me. All this said and done, I am still having fun, in whatever I am doing. Logically speaking, I should be wondering why the hell I am still alive??? Logically Speaking... I never loved someone with an intention that I'd get the same kind of love from the opposite end. I never felt that heart & mind would go together in that kinda sync. 'If you get what you want, you do what you like' was t...

It was after a long break of 11 years I played Holi like a freak. The last time I played was before by 10th Standard Board Exams, back in 2000. I was all tainted by positivity around me and it was because of my students. This Holi was the most memorable one as I was not loving the taste of colors, but the aura was so energetic that, I felt to scream and shout, "Harkaati Karkaati......" and have little "Thandaai" on the verge of the dusk. It was a Super-Moon day and that added more brightness to my colorful day. I was supposed to go to a quiz show after the Holi session, but I was so much tainted that, I had to be in bathroom for almost 45 minutes washing myself. I was tired taking bath and that wore me out. I stayed back in home and slept off.... The next day was a wonderful start as I spoke to my best friend in USA via video chat and that made my day. I was on cloud nine and there was no better way than to express myself here. We talked about not so great things...

It was all at the end of the first semester when I realized that my students did not seem to be enthusiastic about any management events. I tried to get in lots of innovative class teachings with hell of humor and dead simple examples. I was wondering, how one can be so casual in spending their parents’ money so leisurely. I too was not so serious when I was at the same stage, but never had I stepped back from attending any events or competitions held in other colleges. Now, I am at a position where, I am still eager to participate with the same level of exuberance, but the students are not. They all come from vernacular backgrounds and this I feel should not be considered as a weakness for them at all. As a faculty, I’ve always tried to inject lots of motivation in them to go in for any event that comes ahead of them, but the only thing stopping them was “Utter lack of Interest”. This was a pondering point in itself for me to take up a challenge and do something new. I planned to ha...

All of a sudden I was being forsaken and was being termed as a "Stranger" and I had to adapt my emotions to the realm of agonizing volatility. Though I was not that kind of person who took any offenses so seriously, this part too didn't matter much to me. I was telling to my colleague the other day that "While I was a kid, I was Innocently Insane, but now, I have grown Intentionally Insane". I do not know how did I become so bizarre and freakoholic, but all I know is, I am proud of being a jerk at times. It may irk few people, but one of the person very close to my heart said to me, "All of us have to be proud of our imperfections. God has surely made someone who fills in your loopholes and stop you from being one of the other holes (the latter part of holes was my frickin' addition though)! It was a very perfect situation where I proved myself to be what I was. I never did regret to accept the fact that I'd freak out and go verbally dead when someo...

Love is not in the touch You can’t feel love that much When love is burdened in the Heart. Please fall apart. I need no life to restart. Give me a break please From all the stressful emotions I have no wicked notions & fool all under the trees Please go away for a while & let me discover my own smile. Hold your thoughts for a moment Coz my mood is on a swing I wish I could do something & cherish the jiffies on the go. All I know for now though, Is, those luscious memories are finely secluding.