Skip to main content

Learning to hide my bruises!


I maybe ten or eleven years old.

I was playing cricket in the lane outside the house. My neighbour friend got out early and it was my turn to bat. For some reason, that made him angry. Really angry. Instead of bowling properly, he started throwing the ball straight at me.

Not at the stumps. At me. The first one hit my arm. Then my leg. Then my back.

He kept saying I wasn’t out yet, so I had to keep playing. But this wasn’t cricket anymore. He was just throwing the ball as hard as he could. I didn’t shout. I didn’t swing the bat at him. I didn't go full IPL-Pollard on him. I just stood there and kept getting hit.

Looking back now, that part bothers me the most. I keep thinking I should have done something. Shouted. Hit back. Walked away. But I didn’t. I stood there like a statue. Finally, I threw the bat on the ground and ran home.

I remember falling face down on the bed and crying into the pillow. My sister saw the bruises on my face and body. She didn’t say anything. My mother went outside and fought with his mother. There was shouting. But it didn’t change anything.

For the next few days, that boy kept laughing at me whenever he saw me. The bruises disappeared in a few days. But something else didn’t. What stayed with me was the silence.

I had come home hoping someone would sit next to me and say something simple. Something like, “You didn’t deserve that.

Nobody did.

And somewhere around that time, something inside me made a very unusual decision. I stopped crying. Not loudly. Not dramatically. I just shut down. And strangely, that worked. No complaints. No visible pain.

People seem to like that version of me better.

Years later, I realised those emotions didn’t disappear. They just got stored somewhere inside. Packed tight. Waiting. Back then, crying would have been the easy option. Letting it out. Moving on. But when nothing comes out for years, the pressure builds. Sometimes it feels like even a small spark could set everything off.

That scares me now. Because the people around me today didn’t create that fire. But they might get burned by it. If I could go back to that lane today, I wouldn’t teach that boy how to fight.

I would just pull him out of that stupid game and hug him. Tell him he wasn’t weak. Tell him he was just a kid who didn’t know how to deal with cruelty. And that’s okay. Today, I have a son who is a lot like that boy. Sensitive. Emotional. Soft in the way children are supposed to be.

I’ve put him in Taekwondo. Not because I want him to hurt anyone. But because I never want him to feel that helpless. 

He lost his first match while training for his Green Belt. I wasn’t angry. I was proud. Because he is already standing in places where I never did. These days, when he cries, I let him cry. I let the storm pass. Then we talk.

Because strength is not about knowing how to hit back, strength is knowing someone has your back.

I wish that boy in the lane had known that. Maybe he would have cried a little longer. And maybe I wouldn’t have spent thirty-odd years learning how to do it again.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Do u remember who was he ur childhood baller . We will catch him
Ameet Joshi said…
I am sure life must have got him in some karmic way. I stopped looking.

Popular posts from this blog

Waiting for a miracle

The mirage isn’t real, the moon isn’t near, the hope, probably feeble, and life, certainly terse. A verse, has to be written to tell a story. Because this fairy tale, is getting gory. You wished for a smile, and walked through the isle, you wished for the reveries to come true. A fine friend, you expected. A flawed foe, and a marred knot, you got. While I hopefully craved for the dawn, you eclipsed into despair with a resentful scorn. Emotions began to take turns on the weighing scale. My pains versus yours, versus our trust getting frail. Giving up may not be your forte, and winning may not be mine. Deprived and devoid of love, we live together, waiting for tides to change, waiting for a sign from Above, waiting for the impossible, waiting for a miracle.

Where’s the Middle Ground?

If you are a middle-class man and married recently, there must be an incessant turmoil going on in your mind. You must be thinking, “why me?” There were times when nobody cared what you did, or said. But now, after you are married, everyone questions your decisions and actions (even inactions). You are blamed for posing a “changed” (read,  spoilt ) behaviour and it is basically not you – it's because of YOUR WIFE, who has drastically changed you as per her convenience and necessities, just because you are like clay in your thirties. Anybody can manipulate you and make you their slave, right? That’s the intention of every marriage – to enslave all of “Man” kind. The mother-sister combo tries that for a particular period with all their love. To some extent they succeed without any resistance from you. Because, you too love them back equally for everything they did to you, right from your birth till your marriage. Now that you have become their most prized possession, it is nearl...

What are you?