Chapter 8: Life on a
deathbed
I was momentarily
having my great time with two healthy girls over my sleek fleshless body, but
the pain post the pleasure session was getting intolerable. I wasn’t able to
sleep on my back. One full day I laid on my belly, and my mom seemed tensed.
“Do you want me to call
Kulkarni Doctor?” she brushed my hair with her fingers.
God!
I wish I was a kid sleeping in her lap rocking to her lullabies and sleeping
peacefully.
“Yes Maa. Please call.” I
said with a broken voice and maybe a couple of broken bones.
Dr. Madhav Kulkarni is our
family doctor and has been with us since my mother was a child. At 65 years of
age, he still goes to his clinic on his old Hero
Honda CD100. Not to mention, he is a punctuality freak and expects
everything to happen on time. Just like his ideal marriage that was a paradox
in itself. He wished to go for love marriage, but ended up in an arranged
marriage, and he wished for one daughter and he had three hat-trick sons. For a
shrewd Brahmin doctor, Madhav Uncle was an ideal example of strictness with a
blend of discipline and comical misfortune. As a kid, I always was shit-scared
to get an injection from him. He used to treat human subjects like animals and
considered himself a sort of magical vet and stabbed our tiny asses. I used to
get an extra bum every time I went for treatment to his clinic.
“Mom. Please ask him to give
me some tablets.” I slightly requested making myself look more pathetic and
helpless.
“He’s coming in ten
minutes.” She said. “You only ask him.” She slapped my bum and left.
“I’ll get you Boost.” She went to kitchen. In the
meanwhile, Sakshi called up home and said that she too was coming to see me. Wow! I’d become a popular patient overnight.
I was lying on my bed like I
was in my last stage of cancer and everyone were sitting beside me as if I’d
called my attorney to write down my will.
“Hello Abhi. How are you?”
Madhav Uncle came on time.
I
am doing great. I just called you for a cup of coffee. I thought for
myself.
“I can’t move my back.” I
said, pointing at the area where I had the maximum pain.
“What happened? Did you fall
from a building or what?” He started to play his humour card on me.
“No Uncle. The building
itself fell on me.” I rebounded.
Sakshi was sitting beside me.
She knew the whole story. She softly squeezed my palm which she was holding
very tightly before. Everyone broke into laughter and mom went in to get some
coffee for Madhav uncle. I signalled Sakshi with my eyes to go and help mom and
she too went in. I wanted to talk some serious stuff with doctor and I had my
sweet private time.
“Anything serious Madhav
Uncle?” I asked with my eyes wide open.
“Let me check.” He opened
his briefcase and took out his stethoscope. His placed it on my back and asked
me to breathe deeply.
“Inhale now... Exhale
now...” He made me do all the Baba Ramdev special moves. He then pressed on
some specific areas and asked me if it pained in those particular areas. I
responded accordingly and he took off his stethoscope.
“Looks like a muscle sprain.
Nothing much to worry.” He gave a consolation smile, plus a prescription.
“I’ll give some tablets and
a pain-relief spray.” He said. I was all relieved even before I took them.
Thank God he didn’t give me an injection.
“I’ll just give a Penicillin injection now. You can start
your tablets from tomorrow.” He took out his weapon of choice. I raised the
sleeve of my T-shirt for him to shoot his spike.
“Pull down your shorts Abhi.
I’ll give on your waist.” He was shrewd and determined. I closed my eyes,
pulled down my shorts and surrendered my bum to the ruthless Ass-ass-in, almost literally. I tightly
grabbed the pillow and was waiting for the procedure to get over. When Uncle
applied the antiseptic on my ass with the cotton, I felt an ice cube melting on
my bum. Then, there was this epic penetration and the pain was gone. I was
taking an injection from him after some 12-15 years. And there was a huge
improvement in his courtesy level. He actually treated me like a human.
“Is it over Uncle?” I asked
in a doubt, thinking if he’d forgotten his syringe in my rear.
“Yes Abhi, it’s done.” He
replied with his usual conclusive tone.
It was very soothing I was
falling asleep. Mom and Sakshi too came in by the time Madhav Uncle was about
to leave.
“Here’s your coffee Madhav Anna.” My mom handed over a cup
to him. Madhav Uncle was like a brother to our family as he only took care of
my mom and her sisters when my grandpa used to fall sick. Sakshi too had a cup
of coffee in her hand and she was sitting right beside me. I was watching mom
and uncle talk about me and Sakshi in the hall, but couldn’t actually hear them
properly. Suddenly, I felt like a drop of hot lava fell on my ass, and screamed
the hell out.
“What happened???” mom and
uncle both came in running.
“Nothing.” Sakshi replied.
There was a devilish look in her eyes. “I offered him coffee and he sipped
without knowing how hot it is.” She lied instantly. Mom and uncle walked back
to the hall.
“What the hell was that?” I
grabbed Sakshi’s hands and didn’t allow her to move.
“Tit for tat” She replied
with a grin. I kept wondering when did I burn her ass this way.
“What did I do?” I wondered
what else was remaining to be burnt and broken.
“Forgot the Splash Game so soon?” she reminded me of
that incident. It was really a fun time we three had together, but all of us
had got even that day, that moment itself. It was only me who was suffering the
after-effects.
“One day, it’ll be my cup of
coffee and your bum.” I said with a faint hint of vengeance.
“I am all yours Abhi.” She placed
her glossy fingers on my shoulders from behind, laid on my back and kissed my
cheeks.
“Get well soon dude.” She
left from the room and I fell asleep after an hour or so.
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